The Old Dun Cow Some friends and I in a public house, Was playin' Dominoes one night, When into the room a fireman came, His face all chalky-white. "What's up?" says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost? Have you seen your Aunt Mariah?" "Oh me Aunt Mariah be buggered," says he, "The bleedin' pub's on fire!" "Oh," says Brown, "What a bit o' luck, everybody follow me. It's down to the cellar, if the fire's not there, Oh, we'll have a grand old spree." So we all went down with good old Brown, And the booze we could not miss. We hadn't been there ten minutes or more, 'Til we were all half-pissed! CHORUS: Aaaaaaaaaaand... There was Brown, upside down, A lappin' up the whiskey on the floor. "Booze, booze!", the fireman cried, As they come a-knockin' at the door. (thump thump) "Oh, don't let 'em in 'til it's all drunk up." Somebody shouted "MacIntyre!" (MacIntyre!) And we all got blue-blind, paralytic drunk, When the Old Dun Cow caught fire. Then Smith run over to the portwine tub, And gave it a few hard knocks. (thump thump) Started takin' off his pantaloons, likewise his shoes and socks. "Hold on," says Brown, "That ain't allowed. You can't do that there here. Don't go washin' your trousers in the portwine tub, When we got Guinness's beer!" CHORUS And then there came a mighty crash, Half the bloody roof caved in. We was drowned in the firemen's hose, Though we were almost...happy. So we got some tacks and old wet sacks, And we tacked ourselves inside. And we sat there getting bleary-eyed drunk, When the Old Dun Cow caught fire. CHORUS